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A Visit From My Muse

Dirty_dishes‘Twas the night before deadline, and all through the place
The dust bunnies were mating and taking up space.
The dishes were stacked in the kitchen in piles,
While crumpled up notes filled the circular file.

My lovers were nestled all snug in the bed,
With nary a conflict to mess with their heads.
And the villain in his wisdom, had gone to the coast
For a nice long vacation and a good Christmas roast.

My outline was there on my Scrivener screen
While my eyes were wide open, high on caffeine.
With Kitty in her basket, and I in my sweats
Was just thinking about having my last cigarette.

simbadeskSmallWhen there on my laptop appeared a strange sight
That at first I mistook for a bad megabyte.
“Windows I hate you”, I said in a wail
“Why did you wait for my deadline to fail?”

But the blue on the screen of my Sony Vaio
Gave the feeling that failure was certain, you know?
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature goddess in a gown oh-so-sheer,

Made of fine silky fabric, in sparkly bright hues,
I knew in a moment it must be my muse.
More comely than starlets in movies was she
But she snorted and grimaced and pointed at me.

Calliope, Muse of Epic Poetry

Calliope, Muse of Epic Poetry

And then, in a twinkling, I heard in my head
The voice of my muse as she whispered and said,
“Your villain’s a wimp, he’s a really big goof,
And, honestly, honey your hero’s aloof.”

“Your heroine’s almost too stupid to live,
And your plot is so holey it looks like a sieve.
But I’ve got some ideas that might get you on track,
If you’d feed me some coffee and a chocolaty snack.”

So up from my desk I sprang with like a flash,
Pulled open my drawer for my M&M stash.
And I fed her a snack that was wickedly sweet.
And she gobbled it up. She was not even neat.

She spoke no more words, but went straight to her work,
And filled all my plot holes, then turned with a smirk.
And smiling a smile that was full of good cheer,
She nodded her head and then disappeared.

I ran to my story, and gave a big whistle.
All my problems had flown like the down of a thistle.
So I wrapped it all up, mailed it far out of sight.
“Happy deadline to me, and at last a good-night!”

* * * * * * * *

Leave a comment in haiku, rhyme, or some other poetic form to be eligible to win an autographed copy of A Christmas to Remember.  Christmas Carol parodies would be most welcome.

And to all the readers of the Ruby blog, I wish you the brightest and merriest of Christmases.  And a prosperous and happy New Year.A Christmas to Remember cover

28 responses to “A Visit From My Muse”

  1. Woot! That was fabulous, Hope! OMG! I’m so printing that off and reading it out loud on Christmas Eve. My family won’t get it, but I’ll giggle through the whole thing.

    You are so creative : )And I love the cover of your anthology!

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  2. June Love says:

    Hope, I laughed with genuine glee,
    At your poem written so superbly.
    With all the Christmas preparations I face today,
    It’s with a smile on my face, that I go on my way.

    I wish for you and those who stop here,
    A joyous holiday season filled with good cheer.
    Wherever we are, wherever we go,
    Let us remember to spread love to friend and to foe.

    Thank you, Hope, for a wonderfully, creative post!

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  3. Liz Talley says:

    Awesome! I LOVED it 🙂

    And I shared it on FB because everyone must see this 🙂

    Happy Holidays, friends!!!!!

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  4. Terri Osburn says:

    Well done! And I can relate to every word. LOL!

    Happy holidays, Rubies!

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  5. Dear Hope, your poem was truly fantastic
    If I eat any more M&Ms I’ll need pants made of elastic.

    It takes a word master to rhyme the word aloof,
    I didn’t think it could be done, but there is the proof.

    I’m glad your muse paid you a visit,
    I’m hoping mine will drop by–oops did I miss it?

    Now it’s time for my coffee or maybe some cocoa,
    I might add some fudge or even almond roca.

    To everyone, I say “Have a great Friday.”
    It certainly beats a manic Monday.

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  6. Hope Ramsay is awesome, she knows in a flash,
    that deadlines are monsters and computers always crash.
    But with a drop of coffee and her brainstorming friends,
    her hero and heroine will have their happy after ends.
    Her double-sized golden heart is blessed by a muse
    who tirelessly spins plots to keep us all amused.
    Come Donner, come Blitzen,
    Come Last Chance hunk and his vixen
    And as her manuscript by email did fly,
    Merry writing to all and a bestselling New Year was her cry.

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  7. elise hayes says:

    I SO don’t have the brainpower to rhyme right now. But I could definitely use a visit from your muse 🙂 Maybe I should leave a trail of M&M’s, leading to my computer…?

    Loved the Xmas poem!

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  8. Tamara Hogan says:

    Oh, your poem’s a hoot, Hope! Those dust bunnies you mention in your second line are taking up residence at my house, too. On the other hand, they keep the cat entertained. 🙂

    Being I’m a Minnesotan, I’ll try a winter haiku:

    Freezing rain in December
    Turns roads to ice rinks
    So staying put seems prudent

    Congrats on your anthology!

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  9. Gail Hart says:

    That Hope Ramsay chick
    Sure does know how to tickle
    Readers’ funny bones

    Congrats on the new release!

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  10. Wow, Hope, this was fantastic! 🙂 It’s been years since I’ve written any poetry (and then, it was a requirement for English class). 😉 Let’s see…

    Holiday madness
    Wreaks havoc on writer’s time
    But restores the well

    Hmmm…hope I did that right. LOL

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    • Hope Ramsay says:

      Anne Marie Becker

      Yes, you got the haiku right

      You are a poet.

      (Boy it’s getting harder and harder to come up with Haiku…although it’s surprising how many Rubies have names that are 5 syllables long.) 🙂

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  11. Vivi Andrews says:

    I have no poetic abilities whatsoever, but this is AMAZING. Hope, you are a genius. LOVE.

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  12. June Love says:

    Hope, I realized as I was making my chocolate pie that I didn’t congratulate you on your release. Funny what pops into your mind while standing over a stove and stirring patiently.

    Congratulations on your release!

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    • Hope Ramsay says:

      June, it’s not big deal. This anthology was published last year in e-book only. The publisher decided to release it again this year in paper. So it’s hardly new. But festive nonetheless.

      I would like a slice of your chocolate pie, please!

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  13. Rita Henuber says:

    Oh! My! Goodness! This is brilliant and the comments are also. Thanks for this.

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  14. Brilliant, Hope! Thanks for the grin.

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  15. SO printing this out!
    Absolutely brilliant.
    Love goofy villains.

    (To the tune of Jingle Bells)

    Writers’ wells, Writers’ wells
    Always running empty.
    Muses who, once were friends
    Can become our enemies.

    Writers wells, Writers’ wells
    Filled with tropes and cliches
    Wine and beer, and plenty of tears
    We’ll write the damned thing anyway!

    Dashing through the candy wrappers
    Buried under bad reviews
    Reaching for that coffee cup
    There’s cat hair in here EWWW!
    You want these edits when now?
    Have you lost your bleepin’ mind?
    What fun it is to rewrite the plot,
    And all in two days time.

    OH!

    Writing’s hell. Writing’s hell.
    My hero hates my heroine.
    If he doesn’t cooperate
    He won’t get any ’til the end!

    Okay, it’s not Mozart or even Milli Vanilli, but I took a shot!

    Happiest of holidays to all !!

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  16. Elisa Beatty says:

    This is just amazing….and even your pile of dirty dishes looks way more aesthetically appealing than mine!

    Just reached Winter Break at school, and my brain is broken, so no poetry from me today. But I loved yours!

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  17. Rhymes, we sure have them.
    Not to mention those haikus.
    A talented crew.

    (Ha…I’m still brain dead from my last deadline, as you can tell.)

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  18. Addison Fox says:

    Hope – I love this!!!!

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  19. Laurie Kellogg says:

    I’m so sorry I’m late to your lovely rhyme party,
    It’s because lately I’ve been just a little brain-farty.
    I’d just like you know that I thoroughly enjoyed your poem
    And promise to be more prompt, once I’ve moved into my new home!

    Merry Christmas, Hope!

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