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Posts tagged with: Autumn Jordon

Brainstorming Unusual Character

 

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Oops. The Ruby calendar had a few holes, so I thought we’d talk weather today. Not what it’s like in your area (however, you certainly can share), but how weather is used in our novels to trigger change in our characters’ lives. We know the well-worn cliché of the hero and heroine trapped in a cabin during a snow storm, but we don’t want to do cliché. We want to write fresh ideas

Did you see THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE? How about THE GRAPES OF WRATH? Those are two off the top of my head movies/books where weather was the catalyst for change in many lives.

I’m about to begin a new story for my PERFECT LOVE line and I’ve been brainstorming, thinking about my characters and how I can use weather to change their lives, and/or to up the conflict and anxiety. I’m thinking a flash flood wipes away the wedding set-up, thus putting everything on hold. Enter in a contractor who steals the maid of honor’s heart from the groom’s brother.

Here are a few others examples:

A high heat index causes a blackout situation, sending the tenants of an apartment building to the cool basement.

Lightening brings down a tree limb causing a car accident.

A hail storm causes a delay in a flight.

A sunny day on the beach causes a severe sunburn and sends the victim to the ER—step onto the page Doctor do-me- good.

Hot day melts all the icing on the cupcakes, or the wedding cake, the heroine has made.

While camping, a calm night has the heroine hearing every twig snapping, causing her to build big a really big fire which gets out of control.

A sand storm causes a woman to lose her way on the back roads of Arizona.

Okay, this is an interactive blog, so come on, think out of the box, and share your ideas for ways weather can affect your story, or share an example of something you’ve read.Golden Sun

 

 

Don’t Be Lazy Now

In the sprints, many authors have announced that they’ve completed their work, first draft or edits. Others are following their footsteps. I thought we’d take this opportunity to talk about endings.

We all know that our endings MUST leave our readers satisfied. The ending can be happy or not. Or, it could leave the reader completely hanging out there with a hundred questions about what happens next, if that is what the reader has expected and will want-think saga.  However, don’t leave the ending up to the reader to draw conclusions. They are the reader, not the author.

Endings need to answer or allude to the resolution of the main character’s conflict. If you allude to the hero’s trumpet but don’t actually show it, this opens the door for disaster to happen in the beginning of the next story, if that is your goal.

As you head toward your end, ask yourself what was the main conflict? Did you resolve it? Remember the hero can win the battle (his priority) but the war can still rage on.

Make the main character the catalyst for the outcome. It is their battle and they are the hero of their story. Make them work to make the things happen in their favor.

Have you read a story where things just came together at the end, tied up with a pretty pink bow? Did you feel cheated, let down? You’ve worked too hard building characters, emotion, and tension, just to tell your characters, to kiss and make-up like children. Don’t come up with contrived details to end your story. Don’t be lazy now.

Don’t end the story using new information that has come out of the blue. Your readers have invested time, getting to know your characters and have racked their brains formulating theories about the outcome, don’t cheat them.

If your ending is going to twist, make sure you sprinkle signs throughout your story. That way, the reader will say the author did warn me, but I let the clues go over my head. They’ll look at the story in a total different light. A light that includes five star reviews. A great example of a twist ending was the movie ‘THE SIXTH SENSE’. If you haven’t seen it, do it. It’s a great study.

And finally, know when the story ends. The reader does not need to know what happens with every character. Once your main characters’ reach their goal, whether they won the battle on a blue star in a galaxy far, far away or lover’s pledge their undying love and go to sleep only to die in each other’s arms, the story is over. It’s time for the reader to feel. Tie up loose ends (brief anti-climax) before the grand climax.

A great ending makes your reader feeling something, good or bad. It makes them think about the story a long time after closing it. It makes them talk about your book to their friends. And it makes them buy your next.

Does anyone have any other advice on writing a great end or examples of great endings?

Death & Then There Was Rebirth

I’ve come to the conclusion that death mirrors birth. From the moment we’re conceived, we fight to grow into a whole person.  Then we take enter into a new world where again we strive to develop into a unique person. At some point, we struggle again, leaving behind love ones, and again take passage into another realm.  Based on the trend, one thing we can count on in the next kingdom  there will a promise of hope.

I lost my husband, my love, my best friend. Then I lost the first man to hold my heart, my father. Then my beloved dog whose coat held many tears, and finally my pretty kitty of nineteen years. All of them in a short span of a year and a few months. A few other family members and friends have followed since.

When you lose someone that held your heart, it’s like you’re the only one in the history of the world that has ever felt the pangs of the deepest, darkest, totally empty, endless freefall of grief. All desires except one leave your soul. Then, like the moment of conception, there is the tiniest spark of self-preservation that makes you look up and take a step forward to fulfilling your purpose in the world. Taking those steps and allowing yourself to fall and get back up takes strength and courage.

We all are unique. We all have strengths, weakness and gifts. For some reason, this community has been given the talent of putting words to page, words that will affect others and perhaps change the course of their lives.

Over the years, I’ve heard many of you state that “not to be able to write would be like taking away your ability to breathe.” Fitting words. It doesn’t matter how you write or what you write or whether anyone ever will see your words. What matters is that you’re striving to be the accomplished, awesome unique person that you’re meant to be.

If you or someone you know is going through the stages of mourning, I offer one thing that helped me. I wrote letters to my love ones. I journaled my thoughts. I wrote poems. They are my private works filled with hate, pain and love, and the world will not ever see them.

I’m not the over-achiever that I had been several years ago, wanting to write several books a year. I’ve become the writer who wants to write for me first and the world second. And that is okay.  I hope the books I release will be enjoyed by fans, and blogs like this one will help others. I’m feeling accomplished, and that is good.

 

Fangirl Friday

TheConspiringWoman-200x300The Conspiring Woman by Kate Parker debuted this week. The fourth Georgia Fenchurch/Victorian Bookshop Mystery goes into late-Victorian London in search of a missing child and his mother. Georgia is almost alone as this case begins. Aunt Phyllida is nursing a friend through pneumonia. Emma is on her honeymoon. The Duke of Blackford has traveled to America to check on his investments.

And then Georgia discovers more well-to-do women are missing. Vanished without a sign. While she searches for them, hoping this will bring her closer to finding the child, she receives a letter from the Duke. He asks for a meeting as soon as he returns to London. Will this meeting give her everything her heart desires, or break her heart?

Amazon :: Itunes :: Barnes & Noble 

 

perfectAutumn Jordon has PERFECT on sale until November 30th. 2009 Golden Heart Finalists. Making Christmas perfect isn’t Dylan Kincaid’s forte, but he needs to make it happen, for his nieces. Darcy Witherspoon arrives in Black Moose, Vt., needing an escape and a holiday dreams are madeo f.  They team up for the short run, but Christmas magic has something everlasting in store for them.   Get your copy HERE.

 

 

 

Finding the Aha Moments

Last week, for about the twelfth time, I found myself befuddled up to my eyeballs over a romantic suspense work in progress. Whether you’re a panster, like myself, or a plotter, at some point you could find fresh ideas hiding in the deepest, darkness recesses of your mind amongst a pile of crappy overused ideas. When this happened to me in the past, I’d walked around for days mulling over my problem, my plot’s direction, which is perfectly fine, if you don’t have a deadline and or have time to waste. This time I purchased a few books (Snap: Seizing Your AHA Moments by Katherine Ramsland and Your Creative Brain by Shelly Carson, PHD) and learned for one that mulling is an acceptable process to release your muse. What I also learned, so far, that the more tricks you use to open the gates the faster that will happen.

We’re like the grains of sand on a pearly white beach. Besides having the potential to be stuck in places we really don’t want to go, we’re totally awesome and unique and we all learn in different ways. And in combination of ways.

It’s alleged that we have seven mind-sets (seven ways of learning and using our minds): Absorb Brainset, Envision Brainset, Connect Brainset, Reason Brainset, Evaluate Brainset, Transform Brainset, and Stream Brainset. I’m not going to divulge every detail I’ve learned from these books so far. I suggest you check them out for yourself.  However, I will share a concise description of each mindset and an exercise you can use that key to unlock your mind’s muse.

Absorb Mindset: Ability to absorb new information in a non-judgmental way to be stored for use later when you can use say information to see associations between objects and to remain open to your subconscious.  

Exercise: Pick a space, indoor or outside. For five minutes, really absorb your surroundings. Notice the colors, textures, lines and shadows.  Then touch, listen, smell and taste. Next pick an object and think of a new way use for it. We’ve all seen the Knorr Side Dish commercial where a cork screw is used as a coat nail and a fork is used a cabinet handle. That is the same idea.

Envision Mindset:  In this mindset we deliberately imagine ways to solve problems, using absorb information. This mindset is well known to creative people.  The exercise below will help you increase your mental imagery. It turns off the stream of unwanted thoughts.

Exercise: Close your eyes and take three deep cleansing breathes. Now image your happy place. Where you feel the most relax? Picture yourself there. Allow yourself to feel the surroundings. If your recliner, feel the texture of the material against your skin, the firmness of the cushion surrounding you, the angle of your body as you relax. Are there sounds around you? Soft music or maybe a ball game on the T.V., or your children playing at your feet.  How about smells, tastes.  Allow yourself to enjoy your happy place for a few minutes.

Connect Mindset:  This mindset allows you to spawn many ideas without concerns to how they will play out. You’ll think out of the box. Successful use of this mindset could lead you to become overwhelmed with creative possible ideas. You’ll become energized and excited about your work.

Exercise: Set a timer for three minutes. On a piece of paper write down as many uses for a shoe you can think of. Then set the timer again and write down all the things you can do with a shoelace. Set the timer again and jot down the consequences of a torn shoelace.

Reason Brainset: This brainset solves problems logically, using all your storage memories and knowledge. It allows you to control what thoughts occupy your mind. It is deliberate and necessary as you complete your creative project. It is the perfect mindset to flesh out a whimsical idea and make it realistic. It helps you motivate action, manage time, increases chances for success, strengthens self-confidence and heightens sense of control over your life. It’s one mindset I’ve consciously worked on every single day, several times a day, over the last several months.

Exercise: You will stop particular unwanted thoughts or train of thoughts as soon as they enter you mind by simply saying, “Don’t go there.” Or “Thinking of this is not my on my hour’s agenda.”

Evaluate Mindset: Coming up with fresh ideas is vital is our line of work, but judging whether those ideas are indeed worth spending time one is also essential. This is where this mindset comes in. Three factors are necessary: active judgement, focused attention and impersonality. We need to judge our work against others of which it’s competing. Not us against them. This is about our work, not ourselves. In order to do that, we need to get some distance from our work, judge it with respect, don’t toss the work mid-project, look at each of its parts and evaluate their merits, and look at the work from the point of view of your audience. Be flexible. Consult others. Be hard on your work and not yourself!

Exercise: On a sheet of paper write the titles of your top ten books of all time.  Imagine they’re no longer available anywhere or ever again. Now, ( I know you’re going to hate me)  cross off five. Behind them, write why you crossed them off.

Transform Mindset:  Is all about emotion. Our emotion. Our negative emotions and how they affect our memories and visions. It’s important we know this mindset and how it disturbs our creativity. It is a what-if state, just like the envision mindset, but unlike the purposeful imaginings of the later, this mindset’s themes are worry, anxiety, self-pity or regret.  But this mindset can help with your creative project. Our characters are an extension of humanity.  People have flaws, negative thoughts, regrets. We can use this mindset to write timeless characters if only we draw on the transform mindset.

Exercise: Pick three things in your home that you feel best represents you: personality, taste, qualities. Now write a paragraph about each and how they relate to you. Did you learn anything about yourself? Was there a negative or positive view of yourself?

The Stream Mindset: We refer to this mindset as being in ‘the zone.’ It is the unique melding of self and action. You lose your sense of self and focus on the world at hand. But how do we achieve this mindset.

First, you need the expertise to enter the stream mindset. Second, you need to be engaged in an activity that intrinsically motivating you. (Intrinsic motivation means that you’re involved in an activity because of an internal award and not an external one.) Do you write for the joy of writing?

Exercise: On a piece of paper jot down five activities that had your blood surging and your mind whirling. These activities are your passion.

 

As I said at the beginning of this blog, I’ve only touched on the information contained in these two books. In fact, I’m not finished with either of them, but what I’ve learned so far has helped me to be more productive, to think out of the box on my wip, and be more acceptable of the amount of work I can accomplish in a day.

SELLING 101- Blurbs

Your book is written, polished and edited. Now comes the moment when you need to hook an agent, editor or buyers on your book in a few short lines.  After spending months writing your story, you might be knocking your head against the wall trying to decide how to condense everything wonderful about your work into what, approximately one-hundred words.

You’re not alone.

Writing blurbs commands a different mindset. Instead of adding layers we need to get out the filet knife and cut away all the fat and end up with the juiciest part of our stories, because that is what the readers really want know about. Those juicy tidbits are what makes them buy your book. But how do you whittle down to the wonderful stuff? I’ll share my process.

I write romance, so I begin with a one-line story premise and then the GMC of both my heroine and hero—or as I like to refer this portion, my characters’ mini-bios.

Here is how I began to write my blurb for my new release PERFECT HEARTS which is the second book in my Perfect Love series.

Fourteen years ago, two geeky teens became best friends and their romance was sabotaged by the town’s diva sending them on different paths. 

Carrie returns to Black Moose, Vermont to emerge from the shadows of her parents’ stardom and find a normal life, love, and family, but the ratio of female versus eligible bachelors (under the age of thirty-five) is like 50 to 1.

Luke McQuire is a man with two things on his mind: building his electrical business and evading the town diva, Olive Ann, who has made it known to all the women on the mountain that he is her future husband.

After I’ve that step is completed, then comes the slicing and dicing to make the blurb entertaining, because fiction books are entertainment. And we have to add back in our voices. So the next step is to add that hook—that wonderful first line that will draw the reader in and make them want to read more.

Back to PERFECT HEARTS:

Block-buster movies picture it. Platinum records are composed based on it. Stories and poems are written because of it. Every breathing soul searches for it, including Carrie Shultz. Good grief, her livelihood depends on love.

 

But like all first lines they need to be tweaked and reworked and sometimes scrubbed. So we work some more. And we tweak our characters mini-bios again, adding in interesting story details and hooks.

Blockbuster movies show it, platinum records praise it, great literature lauds it…every living soul searches for it. Good grief, Carrie Twines’ livelihood depends on it. Everyone in Black Moose, Vermont seems to be in love or in hot pursuit of it. Their bliss only reminds Carrie of what she lost as a teen when two geeky best friends became first loves—until heartache sent them on different paths.

Carrie returns to Black Moose, Vermont to emerge from the shadows of her parents’ stardom and find a normal life, love, and family, but the odds are stacked against her. However, her luck is about to change. As she contemplates the merits of becoming a spinster, a game of chance brings her back to the man she’d walked away from years ago.

Luke McQuire is a man with two things on his mind: building his electrical business and evading the town diva, Olive Ann. But when Carrie shows up again like a lucky penny, he’s got more to think about—including why she left him in the first place.

And again, we cut, we add and we polish until the finish blurb seems perfect.

Blockbuster Movies show it, Platinum Records praise it, great literature lauds it…every living soul searches for it. Good grief, Carrie Twines’ livelihood depends on it. Everyone in Black Moose, Vermont seems to be in love or in hot pursuit of it. Their bliss only reminds Carrie of what she lost as a teen when two geeky best friends became first loves—until heartache sent them on different paths.

Carrie returns to Black Moose to emerge from the shadows of her parents’ stardom and find a normal life, love and family, but the odds are stacked against her. However, her luck is about to change. As she contemplates the merits of spinsterhood, a game of chance brings her back to the man she’d walked away from years ago. He’s even more kind and sexy than he was fourteen years ago, but can she trust him with her heart again? Luke McQuire is a man with two things on his mind: building his electrical business and evading the town diva, Olive Ann. But when Carrie shows up again like a lucky penny, he’s got more to think about—including why she left him in the first place. He’s a damn good electrician, but can he make sparks fly with the one woman he wants—the one woman who was able to resist him?

 

And from that polished back cover blurb I can pull a shorter blurb to be used in other advertising venues.

Blockbuster movies, platinum records, and great literature laud it. Every living soul searches for it. Carrie Twines’ livelihood depends on it. In Black Moose, Vermont, everyone seems to be in love. Their bliss reminds Carrie of what she lost as a teen when heartache sent first loves on different paths. However, a game of chance brings back the man she’d walked away from years ago. Luke’s even more kind and sexy than he was fourteen years ago, but can she trust him with her heart again?

 

I want to thank my Ruby-sisters Anne Marie Becker and Rita Henuber and my editor Pat Thomas for their help in brainstorming and tweaking with the final blurb. Sometimes we’re so close to our work we can’t see its best features, so it’s always a good idea to have a fresh set of eyes reviewing it.

That is my process for writing blurbs. Sisters and readers do you approach blurbs differently?   

POWER

Words are like a living entity, with the incredible ability to spread on their own. And partnered with today’s technology their range and speed are vast. They have the power to influence one, or many, and in doing so change the world. They have the potential to span centuries and thus persuade or motivate generations.

Think about that, because as an author that colossal sovereignty comes through you.  What a huge responsibility.

As authors, we spend considerable periods of time thinking about our characters and plot. Then we write. After which, we layer in emotions, senses and setting details. And of course, there is the endless tweaking of dialogue, sentence structure, hooks and much more. However, have you consider the message of your story?

I love to learn new things when I read, and I believe my readers do too. My all-time favorite book is Jean M. Auel’s Valley Of The Horses. Yes. It is a romance, at least it is to me. A beautiful love story. The novel’s setting is the primeval world. I applauded Miss Auel for her research. I can’t imagine the years she spent doing the work. While reading, I learned tons about herbs and ordinary plants and their therapeutic uses. I also learned a valuable safe aid tips, not to mention I discovered a fantasying past world.

In my romantic suspense stories, I’ve embedded true crime cases and safety tips in hopes my readers take heed and share the pointers, because one day my message might just save them from harm. Each of my contemporary novels contain messages relating to honesty with one’s self, strength of character and of family the their importance. My readers have responded positively to my messages in their reviews.

We have the power to change others’ lives-save lives. We can change people’s perception of themselves, help them understand a different person’s perspective or perhaps handle a stressful, urgent situation in a much better way than they would’ve. We can change their beliefs about history, people, the world or the future. We can spur them to take action for a cause. When their life changes, they remember you.

Great stories share information as well as entertain. What is the knowledge that you want to share for the Greater Good with your readers?

Autumn Jordon is happy to announce the release of PERFECT HEARTS.

PerfectHearts2_1400 - Copy (533x800)Blockbuster Movies show it, Platinum Records praise it, great literature lauds it…every living soul searches for it. Good grief, Carrie Twines’ livelihood depends on it. Everyone in Black Moose, Vermont seems to be in love or in hot pursuit of it. Their bliss only reminds Carrie of what she lost as a teen when two geeky best friends became first loves—until heartache sent them on different paths.

Carrie returns to Black Moose to emerge from the shadows of her parents’ stardom and find a normal life, love and family, but the odds are stacked against her. However, her luck is about to change. As she contemplates the merits of spinsterhood, a game of chance brings her back to the man she’d walked away from years ago. He’s even more kind and sexy than he was fourteen years ago, but can she trust him with her heart again?

Luke McQuire is a man with two things on his mind: building his electrical business and evading the town diva, Olive Ann. But when Carrie shows up again like a lucky penny, he’s got more to think about—including why she left him in the first place. He’s a damn good electrician, but can he make sparks fly with the one woman he wants—the one woman who was able to resist him?

Readers loved PERFECT, and the rib-tickling, warm fuzzy feelings continue in PERFECT HEARTS.

TIME GONE WRONG

There are many reasons a writer’s work is considered weak. A faulty time line is among them.

The statement below was made by a reader on a book discussion
list to which I belong:(Disclaimer: The locations in this passage have been changed to
protect the author.)

“After Paris it all began to fall apart for me.  A lot of skipping around—unexplained time
periods went by that didn’t make sense. He was in Puerto Rico, running for his
life. Then he was beaten in New York. In the next scene, the heroine was upset
because he was gone for months, but the timeline did not support her feelings.”
Did you hear her frustration with the author’s work?

Have you read a story which made you stop and wonder either
how much time had gone by or how did a claimed span go by so fast?

I’ve read stories where the time lines were totally off. I remember one book in particular while the clock stuck midnight on New
Year’s Eve the heroine wondered how she would provide for her unborn child. She thought this while stroking her flat stomach. She’d taken a pregnancy test earlier in the day, because of one missed period.

Pages later, it was spring and she gave birth to a full-term health baby boy. Spring stopped me. The seasonal
identifiers didn’t fit the timeline of a normal pregnancy. The story, which had
drawn me in, lost me right there. The author hadn’t done her job.

I’ve also read stories where the author didn’t use any time
descriptor words or phases such as the next day, or later that morning, or
years passed before, which can leave the reader feeling lost.

Here’s an example:
Jonathan’s jaw tightened before he turned and slammed the door. (End of
Chapter. Next chapter begins.) Jonathan didn’t know what to expect when he
opened the door.  The whole house was barren. Everything he’d owned was gone.

As the reader, do you know how much time has gone by? No.
Jonathan could’ve closed the door and reopened it in peek-a-boo fashion for all
we know, which if he did, this story would have paranormal or
psychological-thriller elements. But if our hero had been gone for days, weeks
or months, we would see an emotional conflict.

How do you ensure a proper time flow for your story?

Map it out. Draw a line on piece of paper. Write the important events that happen to your characters
along the line and then chart in seasonal bits and pieces. If your hero is
going to be gone for six months and he leaves in July, when he returns in
January the weather, food, etc. should reflect the month’s setting.

Also, remember to ground your readers by using time related
phases.

Example: There was no more to say. Jonathan’s jaw tightened.
He stalked out and slammed the door behind him. The next morning when he
returned home the entire house was empty. His life had disappeared overnight.

See the difference?

Time lines are especially important when writing a series. Not all events can happen in the season or the same year. The more books you add to a series the more confused you, the author, can become. Imagine how lost your readers would feel in your world.

Has a weak time line stopped you from finishing a book? Do you have an example to share?

Closet Writers

CLOSET WRITER

http://www.dreamstime.com/working-late-free-stock-photography-imagefree59647

http://www.dreamstime.com/working-late-free-stock-photography-imagefree59647

Closet writers break my heart. Any reason a writer keeps their writing a secret is just wrong, unless the writing is extremely personal and not meant for other’s eyes. I was a closet writer.

There are many reasons why writers remain in the closet and the Rubies have had discussions concerning them. At some time or another, many of us have faced the road-blocks that kept us from being us.

Some writers think they haven’t read enough books to be considered a writing expert. In their minds, if people find out they write, they must’ve read every single book ever published. I’m here to tell you that I’ve never read Huck Finn, War and Peace, Fifty Shades Of Gray or a zillion other classic or best-selling books. Does that confession make me less of a writer? I think not.

Being shy, it can take years for some people to join a writer’s group. A long, long time ago, when the internet was young and a thing called dial-up was used to connect to it, writers actually went to public meetings to connect with those of like minds. Walking into a meeting can be daunting to a wall flower. I know because I’m an introvert. The internet and the ambiguity it provides, has made it easier for some writers to connect to others, but not all. They remain in the background, unsure of themselves.  To them, I say, “it’s always the quiet ones who make the biggest impression when they’re ready.” Rest assured most writers are genuinely nice and more than willing to help other writers in any way they can. You only need to be serious about the craft to be considered a writer by them.

A closet writer might feel they don’t know enough about the craft and until they know all there is to know they remain in seclusion. I’m not sure if there is anyone out there who knows it all. Well, maybe King, Patterson or Nora. Only they can answer that question. The point being, the majority of writers will openly admit that they don’t know everything and that they learn something new all the time. Join the club that strives to be better at their craft.

dreamstimefree_666077My writing sucks. It very well could, but are you the best judge? You’ve read and studied and wrote and edited. Now it’s time to trust yourself and share your work. If a critique offers constructive advice, weigh it, and then accept it or not. In the end, it’s your story. There is no greater joy for a writer than when a reader enjoys your work. The only way to know that joy is to share your gift.

There are those who really, really want to be a writer but struggle to do the work required. Writing is hard work and takes a huge amount of time. Completing a work is possible a word at a time. Commit to the work, or perhaps another hobby would be better for you.

I’m fortunate. I’m a writer who has had the support of family and friends for many years, but that wasn’t always the case. I once was a closet writer. I was told that my dreams of becoming a published writer were stupid and thus I hid my passion. Now, when I read the notebooks I filled during that time, I cringe at the darkness that shadowed my life.

One day, I finally broke and said to myself, “This is my life and I don’t want to look back and wonder what if I’d taken one step. Would my dreams have come true?” That was a year of change for me on many levels. It was a hard trial but through it I learned I had the support of mBooks 2012 001 (640x480)any family members. I read craft books. I joined a writer’s group. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I attended conferences and workshops.  I found more support through my writer friends. I met the man of my dreams and he became my biggest supporter. I will love him forever for letting me be me.

Life doesn’t give us do-overs, but it does give us second chances. Take the step toward being you.

 

 

RUSH

We’re ten days into the Winter Writing Fest and I want to talk about stress. Appropriate? I think so.

Stress affects every level of our lives, including our writing.

I don’t know about you but the moment my feet hit the floor in the morning until sometime in the late evening I’m on the go. The list is endless.  Some days, I feel as if my feet will drop off at the ankles if I stop and propped them up and my mind is mush.  Let’s face it, women are caregivers and being a caregiver is stressful. Add extra duties (ie; taking care of aging parents or a love one, moving to a new house, remodeling) and you’re adding stress.

Recently, I read an article at Women’s Health (http://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/stress-help ) which stated that some women need to be busy in order to feel alive, and I wondered if I wasn’t one of them.  I mean I always need to be doing something.  Even now, as I write this article, I’m multi-tasking.

Stress can lead to mental health disorders, like depression and anxiety, obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure, abnormal heart beats, menstrual problems, and acne and other skin problems.  So what can we do to relieve stress?

 

It’s all about attitude.

•There are some things you do not have control over. Don’t worry about them.

• You don’t always have to be right. Pick your fights. It’s not worth the stress to argue. Give in or at least meet people halfway.  Be open.

• Get organized. Write a to-do list. Figure out what’s most important to do and do those things first.

• Set limits. We only have so many hours in the day. Set limits for yourself and don’t be afraid to say NO to requests for your time and energy.

 

Relaxation doesn’t take a lot of time.

• Take deep breaths.  Taking a few deep breaths makes you breathe slower and helps your muscles relax.

• Stretching can also help relax your muscles and make you feel less tense.

• Having someone massage the muscles in the back of your neck and upper back can help you feel less tense.

• Take time to do something you want to do. We all have lots of things that we have to do, but often we don’t take the time to do the things that we really want to do.  You know that priority list above, but your want to do on that list too.

 

You have one body. Take care of it.

• Get enough sleep. Doing so helps you recover from the stresses of the day and helps you think better so that you can handle problems as they come up.

• Eat right. Try to fuel up with fruits, vegetables, beans, and whole grains. Caffeine or high-sugar snack jolts, wear off quickly. That is why they’re called jolts. You’ll  wind up feeling more tired than you did before.

• Drink Lots of water.  At least eight glasses a day.

• Get moving. Physical activity will not only help relax your tense muscles but improve your mood.

• Don’t deal with stress in unhealthy ways, such as drinking too much alcohol, using drugs, smoking, or overeating.

 

There is nothing better than a friend.

• Share your stress. Talking with friends or family members can help you feel better. They could help you see your problems in a new way and suggest solutions that you hadn’t thought of.

• Get help from a professional if you need it.

• Help others. Volunteering in your community can help you feel better.

 

Long list, right?  Don’t stress. Pick one, do it, get good at it and then add another. Deep breaths.

2013 was a very stressful year for me, but through the events I’ve learned a lot. One being there will always be stress around waiting to knock me down, but if I’m prepared I’ll handle things much better. So I’m getting organized, making goals and lists to help make those goals, and I’m setting limits!

I’m drinking more water, making sure I eat plenty of vegetables and fruits, smaller portions and limiting the snacks. I’m stretching, walking and dancing. I’ve called a good friend more than once and laughed.

I think laughter should be on the above list. Don’t you?

Now, tell me. What helps you when you feel the world on your shoulders?

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