Misunderstandings are practically de rigeur in romance novels.  We, as the readers, know the hero and heroine are perfect for one another.  So what’s keeping them apart?  If only she hadn’t mistaken him for a pauper when really he’s a prince!  If only he knew that she wasn’t really engaged to his arch enemy!  If only they would get over their issues, talk out their problems and live happily ever after.

There can be a real power in the misunderstanding conflict.  The reader really wants the hero and heroine to get together and the misunderstanding conflict dangles that possibility tantalizingly close.  If only she knew!  If only he realized!

But the misunderstanding conflict can backfire on you.  Stretch it too long or botch the set-up and your reader will stop wanting your heroic couple to get together and start shouting at them to get their collective heads out of their collective… ahem.  Where was I?

Here are a few guidelines to writing a misunderstanding that won’t make your readers scream (in that not-so-good way).  We’ll call ‘em the Four Rs.

Reason for the misunderstanding:  You know that old adage about making assumptions?  Well, it’s just as bad when your characters make them.  Make sure your misunderstanding is justified.  If he’s going to mistake her for a prostitute, she better be standing on a street corner in fishnets and a patent leather skirt yelling, “Hey, baby!” at slow moving cars.

The reason is your foundation.  If you don’t have a strong one, your conflict will come crumbling down by chapter two.  Give your misunderstanding a strong enough foundation (enough evidence) that the character would not realistically question his initial assumption.  Sure, the reader knows he’s wrong and she’s an undercover cop on a sting operation, but he needs a very good reason to think he’s right.  Otherwise he’s just jumping to irrational conclusions and that isn’t exactly a sexy trait in Mr. Right.  If he thinks every librarian he sees in a short skirt is selling it, imagine how much fun that’s going to be for our heroine for the next fifty years.

Reason to perpetuate the misunderstanding:  As soon as you set up the misunderstanding conflict, the reader begins itching for it to be resolved.  You need a very good reason why the hero & heroine can’t just talk things over and live happily ever after in chapter three.  Why doesn’t he just come clean about his shady past?  Is he afraid of her reaction?  Does he believe she’ll turn him in?  Or maybe turn him out?  The reasons to perpetuate these conflicts are often tied to the internal conflict (trust issues are classic), but a good blackmailer can do the trick if you’re looking for an outside villain to blame.

A note of caution: Even with good reasons for the misunderstanding to continue, be careful of stretching it too far.  As the heroine gets to know (and love) the hero, it is only natural that she would begin to question her initial assumption about him.  If you want your misunderstanding to last, you need to keep feeding it new evidence to support that initial (wrong-headed) belief.  Just be careful you don’t back yourself into a corner where that pile of evidence can’t be explained away when it’s time to hash things out and reveal the misunderstanding for what it is.

Reaction when the misunderstanding is revealed:  You’ve set up your reasons and been careful not to stretch it too far.  You’re in the clear, right?  Next stop best seller list!  Not so fast, buddy.  A great misunderstanding can be all-too-easily botched in the resolution.  Let’s look at a hypothetical.

Say you’re two hundred pages into a book where a misunderstanding featured strongly in the conflict.  Perhaps she thinks he’s a penniless farmboy when really he’s a duke (which, let’s be honest, is much more common in romance novels than the converse).  He can’t tell her his real identity, of course, because he’s in hiding from all the women who want his sexy body and massive estate.  And then later, after he comes to love and trust her, he still can’t tell her because he’s discovered her brother was killed in a duel with another duke (perhaps our duke’s best friend?) and she hates all nobility with the fire of a thousand suns.

At last, we come to the moment of truth, his identity is revealed, the secret out, and she says…”Oh, lovely, I’ve always wanted to be a duchess.”

Noooooooo!  We need a “You bastard!” or at the very least a “How could you lie to me?”  The author has been building this up as a massive obstacle to their love for TWO HUNDRED PAGES.  If there are no consequences to unraveling the misunderstanding then the reasons for perpetuating it were just paranoia and doubt.  I feel cheated!  There really wasn’t any real conflict at all.  It was all fabricated in the character’s head (which only works if you are doing an intensely internal plot and can do it really, really well).

The reaction can be unexpected, (you may even argue that it should be)  but we need a reaction of some kind to validate the misunderstanding we just spent an entire book reading about.

Resolution of misunderstanding:  Don’t worry, we’re almost to the finish line.  There are just two elements you need to remember when tying up the loose ends and resolving your misunderstanding.  1) The best conflicts are overcome not swept aside and this goes for misunderstandings too.  The wave-the-magic-wand-and-everything-is-better ending is not nearly as emotionally satisfying as the I-know-you-lied-about-Big-Thing-X-but-I-still-love/need/believe-in-you ending.

And 2) Make sure you’ve explained away ALL the evidence.  There is nothing so troubling as realizing that yes, he explained that he wasn’t the killer and we believe him, but why was he covered in blood and running from the police when she saw him in chapter seven?  It is particularly useful to make the hero explain everything to the heroine, even if the reader already has an inkling of what really happened.  Nailing it all neatly down solidifies in the readers mind what really did happen (not just what she thought happened) and reassures us that the hero is finally being 100% honest with our girl.  In a plot built on lies and assumptions, that is a very necessary reassurance.

And that’s misunderstanding conflict.

It’s a powerful tool in a writer’s arsenal, but be warned, when mishandled, the Big Mis (as it is called by Smart Bitches) can easily become a point of ridicule.  Unless you’re writing a comedy, you don’t want readers calling your conflict patently ridiculous.  Is your conflict unjustified?  Does it go on too long?  Is it swept aside with a wave of your authorial hand?

As a look at what not to do (and an excuse for a laugh) check out the following video of “Jenny” by Flight of the Conchords.  Just a harmless little misunderstanding…

Do you have a favorite/classic misunderstanding you like to read or write?