I’m not much of a blogger.  I’m really more of a teacher so forgive me if I take you on a little side trip to what I’ve noticed is a problem in many manuscripts I’ve seen lately.  I promise I’ll try to entertain you as much as educate you in the process.  So let’s give it a go, shall we?

Has this ever happened to you? You’ve planned out your scene. Your hero is going to risk it all and reveal to the heroine his inner-most feelings. You’ve set the stage: Costa Rica. A quiet restaurant by the Pacific Ocean. Airy linens flutters gracefully in the warm breeze complimenting the crystal blue water and sun-baked sand …

John reaches across the table and laces his fingers between Lily’s. His eyes grow moist. “Just looking at you makes my heart hurt. I know this is sudden, but I have to tell you. Ever since we met, I can’t stop thinking of you. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman. Gorgeous. Intelligent …”

Suddenly, he drops Lily’s hand, turns and stares you in the eye. “Nope. I’m just not feeling it.”

“What?” you say, horrified by his sudden noncompliance. “But you have to. This is the moment. This leads to your first sex scene. Don’t you want to have sex?”

“Sorry, sweetheart. Not like this.” He turns away, slaps his hands behind his head, kicks his feet onto the table and proceeds to ignore you and the heroine.

How dare he! “Listen, bucko. You turn back around and tell her how you feel or I’ll … I’ll …”

He casts you a mocking glare. “You’ll what?”

“I’ll give you poison ivy for a whole week.” The threat hangs empty between you.

He laughs, clearly not impressed.

Your fist slams the keyboard. “This is ridiculous! You’re a stupid figment of my imagination! You have to do what I say.”

Nothing you say budges the stubborn guy. You glance at your heroine who’s staring blankly out over the stunning ocean view and apologize. “I’m so sorry, Lily. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”

She chugs her champagne, tosses the spindly glass to the table, and mutters under her breath, “Amateur.”

“Excuse me?” Did she just diss you? “Did you just call me an amateur?”

“Yes.” She waves down the waiter for a stronger drink and casts an unappreciative eye on the hero. “Look at him. Anyone can see he’s clearly not himself. And what about me? I’m just a blob with hands.”

And there is the problem. You’re trying to make your characters act in a manner that is counter to their character. You’ve started a war that has no positive outcome unless you, the writer, yields. That’s right. You have to change, not them. This is a fight you cannot win.

So what went wrong? Let’s backtrack and look at the plot.

John, your hero, is a super agent. He met Lily at a marina where she was preparing to rescue a little girl who had been kidnapped by a drug lord because the little girl’s grandfather had stolen a wad of cash from him. John works the case from the government’s angle while Lily gets involved via the terrified parents.

Now let’s look at character.

Unpredictable, Lily has a decided edge, having lived life too close to the wrong side of the law as a street kid. She can talk her way into a house of thieves, pocket their money and leave them all smiling as she does it. Now grown, she only works for money, a lot of it, yet she’s fiercely loyal. Her friends are as important to her as her job. Without either, she would be lost.

John is a loner. A man of few words, he lets his fists do the talking. He’s an expert at destroying whatever lies between him and the object of his interest. He harbors deep guilt over the loss of a woman he could not save. Romantic relationships are a no-go zone for him. He finds it hard to keep friends, feeling the risk of losing anyone he even remotely cares about is too great.

Over the length of the story, these two have clashed as they each want control of the situation. Lily has dragged John into tense situations that had him itching to draw his gun, and John has exploded through a group of villains, laying them low when Lily thought they would never make it out alive.

So what’s wrong with the above scene? Why aren’t the characters going along with you? This is a romance, and you’re fulfilling the obligatory dinner before sex scene.

Well, you’re right. This is a romance, but this quiet scene is being forced onto two characters whose idea of romance isn’t the typical sand, sunset and sweet talk. Seeing them in a static situation makes for a boring read. Where is the danger that they face? Did the bad guy pull a groin muscle and get prescribed a deep tissue massage at the local health spa?

We now know John would never vocalize his emotions in such a manner. And Lily isn’t the kind of gal that would sit back and let a guy take control of even her pinkie let alone her whole hand.

Let’s reset the stage: Costa Rica. A quiet restaurant by the Pacific Ocean. Airy linens flutter gracefully in the warm breeze complimenting the crystal blue water and sun-baked sand …

“This is the place. Trust me.” Lily crosses her long legs, flashing an inappropriate amount of thigh in the process. A local man’s eyes zero in on the display, eliciting a displeased smack and sharp tongue-lashing from his wife.

John snaps open a crisp, white napkin and places it over Lily’s lap, his hand lingering a second too long against her thigh. He catches her smile and straightens. “How do you know?”

Lily walks her fingers over the small tabletop to John’s hand and slides her index finger sensually up and down his wrist. She sits foreward and beckons him close. He gladly obliges. The spicy smell of her washes over him. The warmth of her lips teases his skin as her breath blows hotly against his ear. It would be too easy to turn and take the kiss he wants. He won’t. It isn’t wise to get involved, but his decision is getting harder to uphold.

Her voice slips into him like fine cognac. “Remember that nasty, ugly guy that wanted to spill your guts and then have his way with me?”

Her words have the same bite as the drink. John tenses. He nonchalantly reaches under his light-weight jacket as if he has an itch. “Yeah?”

“On the count of three.” She drops her hand to her drink. “One … two …”

A shadow falls over the apparent lovers and a deep voice sounds behind him. “Bueno Por la noche, amigo.”

“…three.”

Lily tosses the sharp liquid into the man’s face while John springs to his feet and turns to face their enemy. The other patrons scream when John presses his gun against the man’s chest.

“Don’t move.”  The threat of immediate harm rumbles from John’s voice.

Under the ugly man’s stunned gaze, Lily plucks the gun out of his hidden holster and tosses it over the railing and into the ocean.

Anger flares at the disappearance of his gun.  It isn’t shocking the man doesn’t obey John’s command.  There’s a quick struggle for the remaining gun.  A few shots punctuate the air, soliciting more screams.  Gaining control of his gun, John whips the butt against the man’s temple and watches him collapse onto the floor.

As people run for cover, Lily presses against John’s side and plants a kiss on his cheek. Sighing, she trills, “My man’s a keeper.”

“Your man?” John asks, surprised how much he likes the sound of that.

Adrenaline rushs through his veins. The opportunity is ripe and there’s nothing stopping him. Yanking Lily close, he lays a passionate kiss on her lips. The sounds she makes, the way she wiggles in his arms nearly drives him wild.

Lily pulls away and smiles. “About time. I was beginning to think I wore my special panties for nothing.”

Okay, let’s end it here.  I just made up this little vignette, so forgive all my mistakes that I didn’t have time to fix. I’m sure there are plenty.

The point of this whole exercise is to show how keeping in character produces a stronger story. These two are action heroes. We have to keep that in mind. We flipped the chattiness to Lily because that’s her MO. We gave the bulk of the action to John, because we’re in his POV, although I have to say, he barely nudges her out in that area. They’ve become a team. They’ve got trust now and from here, we can develop a believable love scene that isn’t forced, that will show the reader their growing affection for each other.

So, as you look through your manuscript, think about your characters. Are you keeping their character (the essence of who they are) in mind? Or are you forcing them to do something that they would never do? If you’re shooting for the Golden Heart, remember you still have time to polish your work. Good luck and God bless.