Dear Santa: A Writer’s Wish List

Filed in: blog

Dear Santa,

I’ve been a good writer this year.  I’ve spent a lot of time at the keyboard and learned a bit about the publishing business.  As a devoted follower of your blog, I soaked up all your sage advice to aspiring writers.  (BTW, I loved Scrooge’s guest post on the sympathetic villain.)  Best of all, I’ve made some wonderful writing friends.

I did land on the Naughty List a few times.  These were mostly minor infractions—misplaced modifiers, confusing pronouns, and the like.   Wow, I can almost see your eyebrows rise up beneath the white fur on your cap.  Okay, there may have been bigger issues with my manuscripts.  I promise to work harder next year.

I’ve reviewed the Christmas List submission guidelines on your website and believe I’ve followed them to the letter.  I haven’t included any attachments, and I edited out the rhetorical question (What does “good” really mean, anyway?”) that appeared in the first draft.  The original version of this list did exceed the recommended length, but I’ve since pared it down to just ten items, and here they are:

 

 

1.  Time to write.  The guilt-free kind is best, but I’ll take whatever I can get.

 

2.  This nightshirt.

image001

3. A deluxe librarian action figure.  Comes complete with book cart and finger-to-lip shush action.

image003

4.  Hassle-free computers and printers.  A year free of blue screens, paper jams, and dried-up ink cartridges would be heavenly.

 

5.  This tree ornament.  It says, “Once upon a time . . . there was a beautiful and extremely gifted writer . . .”

image004

6.  Any of Grammar Girl’s books.

image007

7. A smidgen of good luck.  Maybe one of your elves could make sure that my manuscript magically rises to the top of an editor’s to-be-read pile?

 

 

 8.  Writing pants.  Any color, extra-comfy, please.

 

 

9. This throw pillow for my desk chair.

image009

10. A new pair of ruby slippers.

image011

Thanks for your consideration.  I look forward to seeing evidence of your existence under my tree Christmas morning.

Gratefully yours,

Anne

So, that’s a peek at my wish list.  I’d love to hear what’s on yours.

Comments

Shea Berkley says:

For me, how about an editor of my very own? And then for a large, devoted fan base. Hey, I can wish, right?

Super cute blog. And I’m really diggin’ the typewriter ornament.

Anne Barton says:

Wish away, Shea! Good things come to those who ask. ;)

Elisa Beatty says:

Adorable, Anne. “Time to write” tops my list, too… but I sooooo want the nightshirt!!

Me too! Me too! But my hubby would only see the word slut and think his Christmas wish was coming true.

Liz Talley says:

LOL! Then it’s a Christmas wish list for your hubby too!

Kim Law says:

I think I’m going to have to order it!

Anne Barton says:

LOL, Kelly. I imagine the subtle humor would be lost on a lot of husbands. ;)

Anne Barton says:

Me too, Elisa! I saw another really cute nightshirt a while ago (couldn’t find it for this post) that said “It was a dark and stormy night” but the “It” was edited to say “he” and the “night” was scratched out and replaced with “knight.” Okay, writing it out like this really sucked out the humor. Hopefully, you can picture it though. :)

Cate Rowan says:

So cute, Anne! Great list and I love the throw pillow. :)

Anne Barton says:

Thanks, Cate! I hope you get everything you wish for. ;)

Gwynlyn MacKenzie says:

Being greedy, but I love the pillow, the ornament, and the nightshirt (although I’d never wear it as a nightshirt!) The “Ruby Slippers” look cozy too.

Time to write without KNOWING there are a dozen things that need to be done translates into Household Help. The Shoemaker’s elves keep letting me down. Maybe Santa’s crew will do better.

Cute blog, Anne, and perfect for the season.

Elisa Beatty says:

I want elves! My family seems to think we *have* elves , who wash all the dishes and take out the recycling and make sure the towels get folded and the cat gets fed, but it’s really me. When I get around to it. Sigh.

Anne Barton says:

Gwynlyn, you’re not being greedy–just hopeful. ;) Me too.

You know, from the looks of my house, I think my elves are on strike too. It doesn’t bother me as much as it used to though. I think I’ve lowered my standards. :)

Keli Gwyn says:

Cute post, Anne. Love the throw pillow.

What I’d really like for Christmas is a phone call from my Dream Agent offering representation. :)

Seriously, though, I’ve already received some wonderful gifts: a super supportive hubby who serves as my plotting partner, an awesome critique partner who edits chapters faster than I can believe and tonz of incredible writer pals.

Sounds like you have Christmass all year long. Lucky girl.

Anne Barton says:

Keli, I think that call will be coming very soon. Heel clicks for you. I hope 2010 brings even more blessings! :)

Keli Gwyn says:

Anne, as you know, I got exactly what I asked for. On the eve of Christmas Eve, top-notch agent Rachelle Gardner called and offered me representation. Of course, I accepted. For days afterward the soles of my shoes received very little wear.

Thanks for all you did to make this happen. If you hadn’t done such a fantastic job critiquing my chapters, and done so faster than I would have believed was possible, I wouldn’t have been able to get the manuscript out when I did. You’re TOPS!!!

Jenn! says:

I LOVE this post, Anne. Too cute and wonderfully clever!

Jenn!

Anne Barton says:

Thanks, Jenn! It’s my attempt to get in the Christmas spirit. I’m way behind on decorating, baking, writing cards, etc., but this is more fun. I hope Santa is good to you.

Liz Talley says:

This was great – loved the strike out at the end. That had me giggling.

So can I just copy and paste your list and make it mine? I loved all that stuff. Especially the night shirt – that’s a good one!

On the top of my wish list is an agent. I’ve been a good girl too. Mostly. But, I’be had a great year, so I’ll not pout if it doesn’t happen.

Anne Barton says:

Liz, absolutely, feel free to make copies and leave the list where Santa could find it. Like, on top of the sports page, in the fridge, and next to the remote.

Wonderful as this year’s been for you, it’s just the start!

Diana Layne says:

Oh! I need those slippers. It’s too cold in this house now, even for die-hard Barefoot Ruby.

di aka barefoot ruby…

Anne Barton says:

Di, those slippers would be perfect for you. And I think you also need a steaming mug of hot chocolate. :)

Tamara Hogan says:

Two hours ago, my director gave me #1 on your list: time to write. He notified me that my request for a part time work schedule had been approved!

While I still half-expect this to fall through in some way – it just feels too good to be true – he said he’s starting the ball rolling with HR today. Under the proposal I submitted, I’ll work for The Man three (long) days per week, opening up two weekdays days per week for writing.

Ho ho ho!!!!!

Elise Hayes says:

Whoo-hoo! Congratulations, Tamara! Yay for this early Christmas present–enjoy!

Elisa Beatty says:

Fabulous, Tamara! What a gift!!

Kim Law says:

That’s terrific! May you get lots and lots of writing done!

Anne Barton says:

Tamara, it sounds like a wonderful arrangement! Congrats, and may the associated paperwork fly through HR without a hitch! *click-click*

woo-hoo!

You’re gonna need that time now!

My work just keeps giving me more hours, which is a blessing and a curse.

Elise Hayes says:

I know a couple of librarians, actually, so the Deluxe Librarian Action Figure might make it onto my shopping list. Heh, heh, heh!

Anne Barton says:

Elise, isn’t the librarian action figure to-die-for? I think they might have made her a little more attractive (did they use the Ken doll mold?) but I could have hours of fun with the cart and the reference desk. The books even have titles on them. *sigh*

Anne Barton says:

Hi everyone, sorry to be AWOL! Thanks for the great comments. I’ve been in classes all morning and am just taking a quick lunch break, but I’m looking forward to chatting more later. :)

BTW, a HUGE thanks to Jeannie for helping me out with inserting the photos. You’re the best!

Kim Law says:

This is such a great post! Other than the nightshirt, ornament and pillow, I want “Oddfellows Writers Collection” (The Oddfellows Writers Collection includes Woolf, Poe, Twain, Shakespeare, and Joyce. Each figure measures approximately 2.5″ tall. ) http://www.shakespearesden.com/oddfellows-writers-collection.html

I sent the link to my husband and I think he totally missed the hint. I’m patiently waiting to see.

Anne Barton says:

Kim, the oddfellows writers are too cute! You could set them on your desk and let the greats inspire you. Or use them to block your action scenes! What an adorable stocking stuffer.

Dara says:

A new laptop. Preferably one of those cute new “mini” ones. :)

Although that’s probably gonna wait until the tax return comes…still a girl can dream!

And I want those slippers…especially with the negative wind chills we’re having.

Anne Barton says:

Dara, those mini laptops are sweeeet. I hope you get one, courtesy of either Santa or your refund check. In the meantime, maybe treat yourself to the slippers!

It’s cold here too. I wish I had fingerless gloves to keep my hands warm while I type. :)

Darynda Jones says:

These are too cute, Anne!!! My BFF is a librarian. I’m so excited! I really wanted a Kindle for Christmas, but the minute I got my very first advance, I bought one. Soooo, this gives me some awesome items to add to my list.

Thanks!

Diana Layne says:

Ok, did you get the little Kindle or the DX? I’m still lusting for the DX.

Anne Barton says:

Cool, Darynda! What a great way to celebrate your sale. I got a Kindle for my birthday, and I’m looking forward to downloading your book! Though, I’m sure I’ll buy it in print too.

Darynda Jones says:

OH!!!!!!!!!!!! And you can get the graphics on the ornament put on a mug! Too cool!

Diana Layne says:

Oh, that is terrific!

Tops on my list: A multi-book contract from Silhouette Romantic Suspense.

What? You say I have to actually mail them a manuscript first?

Drat. Okay. I’ll get right on that. Do they take napkins?

(I still want that contract).

Anne Barton says:

LOL, Jamie. First comes the manuscript and then the contract! Clicking my heels for you. :) Best wishes for healthy kitties soon, too.

Also, can I have a house NOT full of sick cats? I still want the cats. I’d just like it if none of them were sick.

I bought them a humidifier today. I’m such a sucker. I’ve wanted one for years, and the cats are what make me finally break down and buy one.

Sherrinda says:

Ooooo, I love your list!!!! I want ALOT of number 1, please! How funny that the Grammar Girl book is on your list! I read most of that particular one while waiting all morning long to get my first ever mammogram today! Bleh on the mammo, but YAY on the book reading! It is an excellent book…easy to read and excellent advice! :)

Anne Barton says:

Sherrinda, what a weird coincidence about Grammar Girl! At least it was a pleasant way to pass the time while you waited for your mammogram. The procedure does seem rather barbaric, doesn’t it? Sooo important though, and good for you for going and surviving your first one. Now I think you deserve to treat yourself! Hugs!

You stole my Christmas list, Anne!! Especially love those new Ruby slippers. Thanks for the smiles:)

Anne Barton says:

Bev, all things considered, I’d say you and I are pretty easy to please. ;)

I wish I could give a pair of those slippers to all of the RSS’s and our friends!

rita says:

Love this blog!
I want the night shirt
must tell you didn’t think I would like the kindle but it is fantastic.
today I orderd the new Stephen King book and it was 7.99. can’t beat that with a stick.

Anne Barton says:

Putting you down for one nightshirt, Rita! :) Enjoy the new Stephen King book!

Anne, So sorry. I was so busy yesterday I didn’t get a chance to read this now and tell my friends to stop by and read this super entertaining post! I’m going to now. It’s so fun, I have to share. I hope you stop back and comment.

On my list,
Dear Santa, please send me some sanity and the ability to focus and type like Vivi.

AJ

Anne Barton says:

Autumn, thanks for coming by! I hope you have a chance to breathe this weekend.

LOL, I think we ALL could use some sanity and the ability to focus/type like Vivi. Adding both to my list. ;)

Hi, Anne! I’m sooooo late to your blog post. I could definitely do with more time. Just where does it go??

Dana says:

Love the blog Anne! I’m not a writer, but I do love the Ruby Slippered Sisterhood!

post a comment


Name (required)

Mail (will not be published) (required)

Website

Want your picture to show up with your comment? click here

 

categories

Contest Winners (29)
Golden Heart (57)
Misc (38)