Search:
 
 

A Visit From My Muse

Dirty_dishes‘Twas the night before deadline, and all through the place
The dust bunnies were mating and taking up space.
The dishes were stacked in the kitchen in piles,
While crumpled up notes filled the circular file.

My lovers were nestled all snug in the bed,
With nary a conflict to mess with their heads.
And the villain in his wisdom, had gone to the coast
For a nice long vacation and a good Christmas roast.

My outline was there on my Scrivener screen
While my eyes were wide open, high on caffeine.
With Kitty in her basket, and I in my sweats
Was just thinking about having my last cigarette.

simbadeskSmallWhen there on my laptop appeared a strange sight
That at first I mistook for a bad megabyte.
“Windows I hate you”, I said in a wail
“Why did you wait for my deadline to fail?”

But the blue on the screen of my Sony Vaio
Gave the feeling that failure was certain, you know?
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature goddess in a gown oh-so-sheer,

Made of fine silky fabric, in sparkly bright hues,
I knew in a moment it must be my muse.
More comely than starlets in movies was she
But she snorted and grimaced and pointed at me.

Calliope, Muse of Epic Poetry

Calliope, Muse of Epic Poetry

And then, in a twinkling, I heard in my head
The voice of my muse as she whispered and said,
“Your villain’s a wimp, he’s a really big goof,
And, honestly, honey your hero’s aloof.”

“Your heroine’s almost too stupid to live,
And your plot is so holey it looks like a sieve.
But I’ve got some ideas that might get you on track,
If you’d feed me some coffee and a chocolaty snack.”

So up from my desk I sprang with like a flash,
Pulled open my drawer for my M&M stash.
And I fed her a snack that was wickedly sweet.
And she gobbled it up. She was not even neat.

She spoke no more words, but went straight to her work,
And filled all my plot holes, then turned with a smirk.
And smiling a smile that was full of good cheer,
She nodded her head and then disappeared.

I ran to my story, and gave a big whistle.
All my problems had flown like the down of a thistle.
So I wrapped it all up, mailed it far out of sight.
“Happy deadline to me, and at last a good-night!”

* * * * * * * *

Leave a comment in haiku, rhyme, or some other poetic form to be eligible to win an autographed copy of A Christmas to Remember.  Christmas Carol parodies would be most welcome.

And to all the readers of the Ruby blog, I wish you the brightest and merriest of Christmases.  And a prosperous and happy New Year.A Christmas to Remember cover

Self Publishing and the Flu

Yeaph! Self publishing on flu brain. I was beyond nervous to self publish to begin with. But coming down with the flu as I’m ready to up load to retailers? Eeep. For weeks, months, I’d made notes, come to conclusions and decisions, about what I felt was right for me. I had the book edited […]

It’s Never Too Late

As 2014 draws to a close, I wanted to remind everyone that it’s not too late to follow your dreams. I know that sounds flowery and new agey and okay, a little stupid, but it’s true. Get a cup of coffee and settle back in your chair, because I have a story to tell you. […]

The End… And What to Do When It’s “Over”

  Because I enjoy things with layers, like onions and ogres, this post about “the end” has many meanings for me. First, some insight into why I’m thinking about “the end”…   Yesterday was the official release day for my romantic suspense novel, END GAME. I wrote “The End” on that book a few weeks […]

Announcing the 2015 Ruby Winter Writing Festival!!!

Caught up in the holiday frenzy? Remember to pencil in a little post-holiday gift for yourself: THE FIFTH ANNUAL RUBY SLIPPERED SISTERHOOD WINTER WRITING FESTIVAL STARTS JANUARY 12, 2015!!! If you’ve joined us for the Winter Writing Festival any time during the past four years, you know it can be a tremendously productive time, with […]

Creative Minds: Trent Reznor

This is the second post in an occasional series about how I find inspiration in other artists’ creative processes. Read the first, about Trey Parker and Matt Stone.     *** Everyone here at the Ruby Blog probably knows that I’m a complete and utter hoor for former Nirvana drummer and Foo Fighters’ founder and front […]

The Joy of Ritual

As we move through the holiday season, ritual seems to be on the top of everyone’s mind. From ornaments that have been in your family for years, to specific foods passed down through generations, to someone’s annual party, ritual abounds this time of year.

Holiday Travel Tips or I Hate Flying Who’s With Me

Here is the original blog that I meant to post last year, but ended up filtering out some of the rage. Here it is uncensored version. Holiday travel is stressful enough, but here are 10 things that make it even worse.   FYI—I was planning on doing a blog about nothing (think Seinfeld), but it […]

These Are A Few of My Favorite Holiday Recipes.

These days I always make my favorite thing –Reservations. My best recipes require calling up and ordering what I want then driving to pick it up. But I’m going to share a few very old favorites.   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Pecan (pronounced pee-can) Pie Beat 1 cup sugar, 1 1/3  cups corn syrup and ¼ cup plus […]

A Writer’s Little Helpers

Twenty years ago, the only tools I needed for a productive writing session were a sharp pencil and a fresh notepad. But that was before the internet. Now my already short attention span gets pulled in every direction. So to increase my word count or to even get a single word on the page, I […]

The answer is: You get back up…

When I signed up for this spot, I didn’t realize that it was almost the exact time last year when I had some not so encouraging news to announce: The Jade Temptress & the Future of Jeannie Lin I’ve been thinking about this past year a lot as 2014 nears its close. Despite what might have […]

Louisa Cornell’s debut

Ruby Sister Louisa Cornell is having her publishing debut this week in the Regency anthology Christmas Revels with fellow Ruby sister Kate Parker along with Hannah Meredith and Anna D. Allen. Kate asks Louisa: Tell us about your path to publication. Time, awards, manuscripts…. I have wanted to be a writer since I was nine years […]

Look Your Best in Holiday Photos

Yes, it’s that time of year again, when we’re forced to mug for the camera at the end of a long day. In the past, I’ve mastered the surprise good-bye. A reasonable excuse (“The kids are exhausted!” “We have to feed the cat!” “We forgot to TiVo SNL!”) coupled with a quick slide out the door usually […]

Golden Heart: Open for Entries Today!

Today RWA opens the Golden Heart Contest for entries! The Golden Heart is what brought all the Rubies together back in 2009, but of course, the contest has changed in lots of ways since then. You can find the full rules at rwa.org. But here are a few highlights that are new this year, or […]

NaNo Confession Time 2014

I’m writing these words at one o’clock in the afternoon on November 30, the last day of NaNoWriMo, that crazy commitment to write 50,000 words in 30 days. As I’ve done since 2009, I’ve pledged to reveal my NaNo progress here , in hopes that fear of public humiliation will drive me towards my goal. […]

Last Minute Tips for Finishing NaNo, a.k.a., YOU CAN STILL MAKE IT!!

While much of the rest of America is out trampling each other for Black Friday shopping, those of us doing NaNoWriMo are probably hunkered down at our keyboards, trying to hammer out those last few thousand (or, um, last ten or twenty thousand) words. When I checked in at mid-month this year, I gleefully reported […]

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Have a lovely holiday, everyone! We’ll see you back here tomorrow with a new post!            

I’m Thankful I’m NOT the Turkey

Tomorrow’s the day. Many of us have been rushing around gathering food, packing it away in every little inch of our over-worked refrigerators. Others of us have been filling suitcases and making travel arrangements, bravely venturing out on the road during the busiest travel-time of the year. We find ourselves frantic, exhausted, and downright ornery. […]

Gravy! (And a Book Release)

Thanksgiving is almost upon us and I have a book release today with the appropriate title of Last Chance Family.  It’s got an orphaned girl, a confused gambler, a golden-hearted veterinarian, and lots and lots of cats.  You can’t go wrong with cats and orphans and vets when it comes to holiday books — let […]

THE COOLEST THING ABOUT BEING A WRITER!

And, yes, there is one! Sure, we can work in our pajamas. Sure, (those of us who write full time) can sleep late, especially after pulling an all-nighter. Sure, we can eat a gallon of Cherry Garcia at our desks. But the COOLEST thing about being a writer? Hearing from our readers! Even if we’ve […]

Writing Funny

I’m here to talk about a very serious subject — comedy writing. In writing, getting the comedic balance right is tricky. Years ago, a contest judge said my entry read like a series of jokes. Unfortunately, this was not intended as a compliment. What s/he meant was a novel shouldn’t come across like a stand-up […]

5 Lessons on Branding… Which Led to Launching a New Pen Name

When I signed my first contract for a little paranormal romantic comedy short story back in 2008, I didn’t have a clue about branding.  But at least I knew I was completely clueless.  I was ready to be a sponge and absorb all the wisdom I could about the wild and wonderful writing business.  I […]

Ruby Release: Cowboys for Christmas

It’s the most wonderful time…of the year! No, I’m not talking about Christmas. Not yet. I still have two kids’ birthdays AND two kids’ birthday parties, plus Thanksgiving, before I can turn my attention to Ho-Ho-Ho and mistletoe. I’m talking about Holiday Book Season! The time of year when I curl up with anthologies from […]

Ruby Release – I Wish

“Don’t ever give up,” said the late Jimmy Valvano (former basketball coach for NC State University) a few short weeks before cancer claimed him. That quote became the motto for me and I Wish. This is the manuscript that finaled in the Golden Heart in 2009. Without I Wish, I would’ve never met my Ruby […]

November: A Writer’s Take for Giving Thanks

Because the American holiday falls in November, I’ve noticed that we tend to focus more on our blessings during this time. I’ve seen it on Facebook when friends will take each day in November and list something for which they are grateful. List toppers are usually their faith, their families, their health, etc. I’m not […]

Subscribe to the Blog

Name
Email *

Coming Soon on the Blog

  • January 12, 2015
    by:
    Opening Ceremonies: Ruby Winter Writing Festival 2015!!

Newsletter Signup

* = required field

Find the Rubies

The Rubies don't have any appearances scheduled. Please check back soon!